Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale
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With astonishing vulnerability that engages readers from the first page, John and Stasi Eldredge openly discuss their own marriage and the breakthroughs they have won from the challenges they’ve faced. Each talks to the reader about what he and she have learned, providing a balance between male and female perspectives that has been absent from previous books on this topic.
 
John and Stasi begin Love & War with an obvious confession: Marriage is fabulously hard. But beneath and behind the inevitable tensions a man and woman “locked in the same submarine” are going to have, the real battle is against the work of the Enemy, who plots and schemes to tear love apart. The Eldredges show how couples can win “by fighting for each other, instead of against each other.” As they say, “We live in a great love story, set in the midst of war.”

“This is a book of wisdom and hope…a beautiful labor that will move your marriage to far deeper joy.” Dan. B. Allender, author of The Wounded Heart

Review

Love & War: Finding the Marriage You’ve Dreamed Of

The Eldredges’ newest book has bestseller written all over it. The pair addressed men and women separately in Wild at Heart (John) and Captivating (Stasi) and now put that knowledge together in a book on marriage. Christianity, they say, is a love story set amid war, with marriage “a living, breathing portrait laid out before the eyes of the world so that they might see the story of the ages.”

For them, marriage is the perfect storm that brings together basic differences in men and women, individual styles of relating, sin, and brokenness. The Eldredges offer sound advice on topics such as the delights of companionship, understanding the enemy is Satan and not your spouse, finding your marriage’s mission, taboo topics, and, yes, sex. They are honest and forthright, never skirting a difficult issue; instead, they offer hope, insight, and their own lives as examples of what God can accomplish. Their summation of marriage: “It can be done. And it is worth it.” So is this book. 
-- Publishers Weekly, Starred Review

“John and Stasi nailed it. This book opens to an untouched snapshot of a real, live redeemed marriage and closes with hope and hunger for our own. These two have proved again and again that they’re willing to put themselves out there for somebody else’s sake. Is it any wonder God uses them like He does? The moment we decide to throw more energy into fighting for our mate than with him, the crack of a fist on the enemy’s jaw splits the ears of angels.”
—Beth Moore
Author of Get Out of That Pit and Breaking Free


“John and Stasi Eldredge lead us into the heart of marriage...not as we always dreamed it would be, but as it really is... a relationship between two flawed individuals who are discovering together that marriage is difficult.  Their willingness to speak honestly about their relationship proves their point... that “loving costs everything but loving is always worth it.”  If you are willing to fight for the love and happiness God intended your marriage to provide, every chapter of Love & War will cheer you on!”
—Dr. David Jeremiah
Senior Pastor, Shadow Mountain Community Church
Founder & CEO, Turning Point
 
“I need help to grow as a husband.  I have written a few books on marriage, but I am never done reading, reflecting or wrestling with the issues that keep my marriage from being sweeter and deeper.  John and Stasi offer a courageous, honest, and compelling picture of what is involved in growing beyond one’s initial commitment and desire for intimacy.  This is a book of wisdom and hope for those who want more than mere complacency or convenience.  It is a beautiful labor that will move your marriage to far deeper joy.” 
—Dan B. Allender
Professor of Counseling Psychology, Mars Hill Graduate School
Author,  Intimate Allies and To Be Told

About the Author

John Eldredge is the director of Ransomed Heart in Colorado Springs, Colorado, a fellowship devoted to helping people discover the heart of God. John is the author of numerous books, including Wild at Heart, Waking the Dead and Desire, and the coauthor of Captivating. Stasi Eldredge is the coauthor (with John) of Captivating; she leads the women’s events of Ransomed Heart. John and Stasi have been married for twenty-seven years, and they have three fabulous sons.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Introduction

It Can Be Done
 
“Dearly Beloved, we have gathered here today in the presence of God to witness the joining together of this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony. The bond and covenant of marriage was established by God in creation, and our Lord Jesus Christ adorned this manner of life by his presence and first miracle at a wedding in Cana of Galilee. . . .”
 
And so the ceremony begins.
 
It is a ritual ancient as time and young as the hearts of the man and woman standing before us. (These brides and grooms look younger every year.) John is officiating. The bride and groom are dear friends. They are in love. We, their family and friends, are here to support them, celebrate them, all dressed up in our Sunday best. The church is glowing with candlelight; the flowers are so lovely. The Groom looks terrified but happy; the Bride is nervous and radiant. Suddenly I wonder, Did I sit on the proper side? Was it Bride’s side on the left, Groom’s side on the right? Or the other way around? The bridesmaids are stunning. Oh dear. They won’t be wearing those dresses ever again!
 
John continues, “The union of husband and wife in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy. . . .”
 
He looks so handsome in a suit and tie. I remember how he looked on our wedding day in that fabulous black tux with tails. I hope he asks me to dance at the reception.
 
“Therefore marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God.”
 
The liturgy begins to settle us in. The church quiets, the coughing subsides, people are paying attention.
 
“Who gives this woman to be married to this man?”
 
No matter how many weddings I attend, there is something inexplicably stirring about all this—the ceremony, the making of vows, the great cloud of witnesses, something about this remarkable act feels. How does one describe it? Mythic.
 
“Daniel and Megan, you are about to abandon yourselves to each other, throw caution to the wind, forsake independence, isolation and all others. You will vow to each other your undying love. Before you do, we must call this what it is—this is perfect madness.”
 
That got the crowd’s attention.
 
“As an aspiration, how lovely. As a reality, how rare. Everyone wants love; everyone is looking for love. Few seem to find what they are looking for; fewer still seem able to sustain it. Why in heaven’s name would you come to church to publicly dedicate yourselves to something so risky, so fraught with danger, so scandalous? ‘The heart has its reasons,’ Pascal confessed, ‘that reason knows not of.’ Deep in the wellspring of our hearts there is a desire—for intimacy, beauty, and adventure. And no matter what anyone might say, we look for it all the days of our lives.”
 
“Friends, I know what you are thinking. As you watch this today, there is something in your heart that says, ‘Well, maybe. Maybe this time. Maybe this couple.’ But what if, what if Daniel and Megan, in all their frail humanity, are living out before us right now a picture, a metaphor of something far more real and substantial. I’d like to suggest that this no common passion play. Things are never what they seem. If you would see things clearly you must see with the eyes of the heart. That is the secret of every fairy tale, because it is the secret to the Gospel, because it is the secret to life.”
 
“Scripture tells us that we might at any time entertain an angel simply by welcoming a stranger. The serpent in the garden is really the Prince of Darkness. The carpenter from Nazareth—there is more to him than meets the eye as well. Things are not what they seem, and so if we would understand our lives—and especially our marriages—we must listen again to the Gospel and the fairy tales based upon it. There are larger events unfolding around us, events of enormous consequence. A lamp is lit and love is lost. A box is opened and evil swarms into the world. An apple is taken and mankind is plunged into darkness. Moments of immense consequence are taking place all around us. Especially this.”
 
“Dearly Beloved, you see before you a man and a woman. But there is more here than meets the eye. God gave to us this passion play to reenact, right here and now, the story of the ages. This is the story of mankind, the one story we have been telling ourselves over and over again, in every great myth and legend and poem and song. It is a love story, set in the midst of desperate times, set in the midst of war. It is a story of a shared quest. It is a story of romance. Daniel and Megan are playing out before you now the deepest and most mythic reality in the world. This is the story of God’s romance with mankind.”
 
I’m curious what the audience is thinking. When John speaks of love and marriage as deeper than fairy tale, what does our heart say in reply? I know the young women listening just said in their hearts, Oh I hope that is true! I long for that to be true! The young men are wondering, If that is true, what is this going to require of me? The older women filter this through the years of our actual marital experience; they are thinking, Hmmm. (It is a mixture of Yes, I once longed for that, and, Perhaps it will come true for her; I wonder if it still might come true for me.) And the older men sitting here now are simply thinking, I wonder if the reception will have an open bar?
 
“You don’t believe me,” John says. “But that’s because we don’t understand fairy tales and we don’t understand the Gospel which they are trying to remind us of. They are stories of danger; they are stories where evil is very, very real. They are stories which require immense courage and sacrifice. A boy and a girl thrown together in some desperate journey. If we believed it, if we actually saw what was taking place right here, right now, we would cross ourselves. We would say desperate prayers, earnest prayers. We would salute them both and we would hold our breath for what happens next. Daniel and Megan, it is time to make your vows. After this, there is no turning back.”
 
I find myself wondering, What did the ancients know, that they placed vows at the core of this ceremony? Did they understand that the crushing weight of all our desire would break a marriage, that we needed something far more substantial to secure this frail union? It makes me think of the Special Forces, vowing their lives to one another as they embark on a perilous mission in dark lands, the outcome of which remains quite uncertain. Vows.
 
“. . . from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance, and forsaking all others, I will be yours alone as long as we both shall live.”
 
The church is now very, very quiet. Only the older couples have any idea what these lovebirds have just promised, bless their hearts. They really believe that their marriage will somehow avert the darker side of the pledge; surely what they have in mind now is all their hopes and dreams of the “for better, richer, in health” parts. We all believed that. But Cortes has just burned his ships, and a good thing, too.
 
Next comes the rings, and John’s charge to the couple. I love this part. What do you say to the young man entering marriage? What do you say to the young woman?
 
“Daniel, you are about to give your life away. You are stepping up, you are volunteering for the toughest assignment a man will ever be given: To offer your heart and your strength to Megan, time and time and time again, for the rest of your days. You have some sense of the weightiness of it. That’s why you have that nervous grin on your face.
But there was a reason they chose young men to send to the beaches at Normandy; they did not for the most part know what was coming. Older men would have been harder to recruit. I will not lie to you—nothing will be harder. And nothing will be richer. My words to you today are: It can be done. And it is worth it. To discover that because of your strength and your sacrifice Megan can become the woman she was meant to be, that somehow your fierce love can free her heart and release her beauty—that is worth what ever this may cost you. By the grace of God, you can do this. You have what it takes.”
 
“Megan, you have dreamed of this day for a long, long time. And now you, also, are about to give your life away. It might seem easy and natural at first, to offer your feminine heart and your vulnerable beauty to Daniel. But do not be deceived. Nothing requires more courage than for a woman to truly offer herself to her man time and time and time again. Look around. Do you see many older women risking this? But I also say to you: It can be done. And it is worth it. To discover that because of your beauty and your sacrifice Daniel can become the man he was meant to be, that somehow your fierce love can free his heart and arouse his strength—that is worth what ever this may cost you. By the grace of God, you can do this. You are that beautiful woman.”

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4.8 out of 54.8 out of 5
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Top reviews from the United States

Get Reel
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
This should be REQUIRED reading for married couples...
Reviewed in the United States on September 28, 2018
The most honest and helpful book about marriage I''ve ever read, bar none. John and Stasi give us the privilege to ''look behind the curtain'' at some of the most intimate issues of their marriage. No topic seems off limits. I am so thankful for their courage and honesty. It... See more
The most honest and helpful book about marriage I''ve ever read, bar none. John and Stasi give us the privilege to ''look behind the curtain'' at some of the most intimate issues of their marriage. No topic seems off limits. I am so thankful for their courage and honesty. It is a book that provides the perfect balance of good practical information coupled with personal stories and the context you need to understand and apply it. We''ll be buying copies as holiday gifts for our married children and several couples we know who are living out the ''war'' that this book helps us all better understand. I will reread this book many times. Thank you to the Eldredges for what I would easily call one of the top five best Christian books I''ve ever read.
6 people found this helpful
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Some Writer's Life
4.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Marriage is hard
Reviewed in the United States on June 12, 2017
It''s fair to say the idea that marriage is hard is common sense. We go into it fully expecting it to work, and if it doesn''t, we accept it''s simply that we''re with the wrong people. Sometimes we may even believe we are the wrong people ourselves, and dive into to a solo... See more
It''s fair to say the idea that marriage is hard is common sense. We go into it fully expecting it to work, and if it doesn''t, we accept it''s simply that we''re with the wrong people. Sometimes we may even believe we are the wrong people ourselves, and dive into to a solo quest to change, finding only that we are in a worse state than we started.

This book aims to provide a biblical view on why marriage is hard and why those feeling that way, might just be in he situation God planned. I found the openness and honest of the authors to be refreshing, rift down to the fact both admit to sexual activity before marriage. This resonated because so many books start off with all the perfect setting a marriage should take place in, while books like these should actually be for those of us that have not travelled that perfect path.

Towards the end the editing gets a bit less refined with several easy-to-spot typos. Getting past that is easy though. Overall I enjoyed it, and hope to think about my own marriage a little bit differently because of it.
6 people found this helpful
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DWalters
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Extraordinary!
Reviewed in the United States on April 25, 2018
It would be difficult to overstate the impact Love and War has had on the lives and marriages in our church''s couples group. John and Staci are skillful writers, combining deep scriptural insight with delightful transparency to lead us on a journey of discovery. On this... See more
It would be difficult to overstate the impact Love and War has had on the lives and marriages in our church''s couples group. John and Staci are skillful writers, combining deep scriptural insight with delightful transparency to lead us on a journey of discovery. On this journey we find a new vision of what God is up to in His design for marriage, insight into who we are and who our spouse is, and the keys to unlocking the power available to us if we choose to "fight" for God''s best for our marriage. The style is as easy as a fireside chat, but deeply profound. It is humorous, but painfully challenging. All of us reported that God has used this book to change us, and grow our marriages. We recommend this book without reservation!
5 people found this helpful
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Michael
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
The Best Marriage Book We Have Read In Our 16 Years Together!
Reviewed in the United States on October 4, 2017
This is an excellent marriage book! My wife and I have read many, many books together over the years, but this one is one of the best, if not the best book we have read! We appreciated John and Stasi''s honesty and candor, and as such, were able to relate to their joys and... See more
This is an excellent marriage book! My wife and I have read many, many books together over the years, but this one is one of the best, if not the best book we have read! We appreciated John and Stasi''s honesty and candor, and as such, were able to relate to their joys and struggles. We''ve since purchased another copy for some friends. Highly recommended!
6 people found this helpful
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Ingrid
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
I love how John Eldredge writes
Reviewed in the United States on November 29, 2017
I love how John Eldredge writes! This book was really amazing, an eye opener on so many levels. I highly recommend it to anyone who is struggling with their marriage, and even to those who aren''t. There is a lot to be learned from what he writes.
2 people found this helpful
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VintageJunkie
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
A Must Read!
Reviewed in the United States on April 4, 2011
I simply devoured this book. I originally decided to buy it because my husband is a big fan of John Eldredge and I knew that he might read it as a result. I purchased a copy for him and for myself. I think the plan was to read it together and discuss each chapter... See more
I simply devoured this book.

I originally decided to buy it because my husband is a big fan of John Eldredge and I knew that he might read it as a result. I purchased a copy for him and for myself. I think the plan was to read it together and discuss each chapter (he works out of town), but I was so enthused by my reading that I couldn''t put it down. I generally hate non-fiction books, but this one revolutionized the way that I looked at my marriage. Being pretty young, we''ve had a lot of bumps over the course of our marriage; and to be frank, I''ve wanted to leave on multiple occasions. After reading this book, I was able to better identify why I feel the way that I do, and how to deal with those feelings. The authors of this book are Christian and stress the importance of having a relationship with Christ. Since both of those applied to me, this book affected me all the more (for the better). My prayer life has improved 10 fold. I''m not sure how a non-believer would react to reading this book. It does have many priniciples that could apply to a non-believer though.

In the end, I would whole hearted recommend this book to anyone who is married or about to be married, and especially for those who might be limping along in their marriage and are looking for real, lasting change. I warn you--it won''t come over night, but you will find yourself better equipped to handle the downs better. It really re-enforced my decision to stick things out. It''s interesting that going into reading this book, I was doing it because I wanted my husband to too. I don''t think he has read much of the book, but I am so much better for reading it. God does work in mysterious ways.
7 people found this helpful
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Freddy Corona
2.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
To give credit this book is very easy to read with hardly any words that I had ...
Reviewed in the United States on February 25, 2018
I expected a little bit more John Eldridge this seems to be very cliché and very day one Christianity. Giving him the benefit of the doubt I think I had a really high expectation from him because I met him personally one said he is so much more insightful baby in book form... See more
I expected a little bit more John Eldridge this seems to be very cliché and very day one Christianity. Giving him the benefit of the doubt I think I had a really high expectation from him because I met him personally one said he is so much more insightful baby in book form he told it down a notch. To give credit this book is very easy to read with hardly any words that I had to look up about a fifth grade level read for most Americans that’s normal
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Mary
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Great book to read before, during your Marriage
Reviewed in the United States on February 25, 2020
We read the original book that John and Stasi wrote when our marriage needed help and we''ve lent the book out to others and I''ve even bought more and gave them away to others based our recommendation. My daughters are now in relationships that seem to be heading down the... See more
We read the original book that John and Stasi wrote when our marriage needed help and we''ve lent the book out to others and I''ve even bought more and gave them away to others based our recommendation. My daughters are now in relationships that seem to be heading down the aisle so I bought this and the study for them to read. I can''t express how much it helped our marriage and I''m so grateful for this couple and the gift they give to others.
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Top reviews from other countries

Alikay
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
best book on marriage I''ve ever read
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 2, 2013
this is not a how-to manual, or a generalisation of types such as you find in other Christian marriage books. Here John and Stasi bare their souls and let you into the thinking processes that shape their relationship. Their amazing honesty - about their failures, successes...See more
this is not a how-to manual, or a generalisation of types such as you find in other Christian marriage books. Here John and Stasi bare their souls and let you into the thinking processes that shape their relationship. Their amazing honesty - about their failures, successes and all the stages in-between - is very insightful and helped me be honest about what is really going on deep-down in my own mind and marriage. I read it twice and will keep it handy to reread again soon. So much wisdom packed into one volume. I love the clear, unreligious style of writing too - it''s fun & fast-moving. Definitely the kind of book every married person should read, whether they have a good, bad or indifferent marriage.
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Rich
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Probably the best book I''ve read on the subject of marriage
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 15, 2013
With the opinion of husband and wife, both great writers. This book covers a lot of the spiritual undercurrent to marriage, in that classic Eldridge way (i.e. If you liked any of Wild at Heart, Waking the Dead OR Captivating, then there''s something for you here). Well worth...See more
With the opinion of husband and wife, both great writers. This book covers a lot of the spiritual undercurrent to marriage, in that classic Eldridge way (i.e. If you liked any of Wild at Heart, Waking the Dead OR Captivating, then there''s something for you here). Well worth a read for inspiration, for affair-proofing your relationship, or just because you fancy something fairly easy to read. (it''s not a short book, but it didn''t take long to read, because I didn''t stop!).
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Bonnie
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Good book on the realities of marriage and how to be a positive influence -
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 19, 2015
I really enjoyed reading this book. Found a few things more practical than the others. But all in all I quite enjoy reading these authors and this book has certainly lived up to its standard. Money well spent!
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Anon
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Marriage make over
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 11, 2013
This is a helpful read to all married people, also to dip into randomly over time. A must for Eldridge devotees.
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FaneX
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Five Stars
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 13, 2016
Best marriage book I have ever read
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Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful outlet sale outlet sale in Your Marriage sale